Behind the Walls Talk

My name is Mr. Shawn Bonnett, have been in since 1995. I am 52 years old now, was on death row for 18 years that sentence changed to life plus 9 years in 2014. I have three sons, all named Shawn Bonnett and 12 grandbabies. When I stood up to hear the verdict read, up until that point I believed in the justice system. Because I told myself this is America there is no way a lookout will get the death sentence. So, to hear those words “your sentence is death”, my life is over. How could I be that bad of a person that they want to kill me? When you blow (lost) trial, you already know that there are only two sentences that you can get and that is life without parole or a death sentence. Either way my life was over. That is the best way you can prepare yourself by the time you get to the sentencing phase of the trial. Family, lol (laughing) only one person came everyday of my trial, that woman was my girlfriend at the time. A couple of my homeboys stopped by, there is no way of comforting them period. You are faced with the worst that humanity has to offer. She moved to Raleigh just to be close to me and visited me weekly for about a year, and that to got old like things often do. My sons are grown men with kids of their own, two of my sons I have never touched. People do not know how or what to say when you have a life sentence, because they cannot imagine having one themselves. You cannot express how you feel so both sides ignore the elephant in the room. Staying positive comes and goes, like faith it is a wave. Hope that the laws will change, some of us go as far as to try and affect that change by writing to representatives, those elected officials, news etc. just to feel like you are doing something. I feel even more hopeful that the laws will change to give me access to the MAPP program. There was no hope at the start of a long bid, all you see is the elephant. But the only way to eat a whole elephant is one bite at a time. I am a Muslim that is the source of my strength and hope. Not having that much support I live off the land, with a hand full of friends and family but no one supports me. If they pass House Bill 126 it would send me home in a year or two. If nothing else it would put me in honor grade within months, and that is like home within itself. I do not get visitations often. Given a second chance, I want to run my own nonprofit called “Mental Takeover” for the kids 13-17 years of age. Because I made gangs cool, and now I want to choke them out by cutting off their life force, which is our youth.